Small Towns

I’ve been thinking about why small towns can sometimes feel so judgmental.

Maybe it’s because there’s little room for anonymity—people tend to know your name, your family, your story. In a place where lives are so intertwined, it’s easy for people to form opinions, often without knowing the full picture.

Tradition tends to run deep, and anything different can stand out quickly. It’s not always out of cruelty—sometimes it’s fear of change, or just not knowing any different. But it can still feel isolating when you don’t quite fit the mold.

What’s interesting is that this closeness can cut both ways. Yes, it can breed judgment—but it can also create deep connection, loyalty, and support when it matters most.

Small towns are complex, and so are the people in them. I guess I’m learning to hold space for both truths at once.

Small towns: where your business isn’t just your business—it’s everyone’s entertainment.

You sneeze weird, and three people have an opinion about your upbringing. Try something different, and suddenly you’re “going through a phase.” Blink wrong and someone’s aunt is praying for you.

It’s not always mean-spirited. Sometimes it’s just boredom, tradition, and too much time at the local gas station. But wow—small-town judgment moves faster than Wi-Fi.

Still, the funny thing is… those same people might show up with a casserole when life knocks you down. Judgmental? Maybe. But oddly loyal too. Gotta love ‘em.

Small towns can sometimes feel more judgmental than larger cities due to a combination of social, cultural, and psychological factors. Here are some key reasons why:

1. Lack of Anonymity

In a small town, everyone tends to know everyone—or at least knows of them. This visibility can lead to:

• Greater scrutiny of people’s choices, behaviors, and lifestyles.

• Fewer opportunities to reinvent yourself or escape a reputation once it's formed.

2. Tight-knit Social Circles

Strong community ties can be both supportive and limiting:

• Conformity is often valued to maintain harmony.

• Deviations from the “norm” (e.g., different beliefs, dress, or relationships) can be noticed and criticized more quickly.

3. Cultural Conservatism

Many small towns lean more traditional in terms of values:

• People may be slower to accept new ideas or lifestyles that challenge their worldview.

• This can translate into judgment or exclusion for those who differ.

4. Generational Roots

Residents in small towns often live there for generations:

• Long-standing family histories can foster pride—but also gossip and comparison.

• Reputation can become inherited, especially for families known (positively or negatively) for certain traits.

5. Limited Diversity

Less exposure to diversity (of people, cultures, experiences) can lead to narrow perspectives:

• What’s unfamiliar may be seen as “wrong” or “weird.”

• Judgment can stem from misunderstanding or fear of difference.

6. Idle Time + Gossip Culture

In towns with slower paces of life or fewer entertainment options:

• Gossip often becomes a form of social currency.

• Talking about others fills time and builds connections—though at a cost to privacy.

It's Not All Negative

Not all small towns are judgmental, and not all judgment is malicious. Sometimes it's a misguided form of concern or an attempt to maintain social norms. On the flip side, the closeness of small communities can also foster incredible support, generosity, and loyalty.